did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
