ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
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