i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
