look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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