The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
