how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
