She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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