All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
