If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
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