If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
