foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
