Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
