Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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