she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
