My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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