He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
