yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
