Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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