finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
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