My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
