Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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