i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Mom said you looked used
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
