D3 body, D1 cock
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
