Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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