She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
