ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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