This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
if i died would you start the facebook group?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
