so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.