We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.