I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!