oh god the rape fog is back!
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
