i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
