We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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