Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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