So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
