Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?

(1-212): View more from New York

idk but i think it had a face

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(614): View more from Ohio

Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?

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(847): View more from Illinois

I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.

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(916): View more from California

I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.

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(903): View more from Texas

We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?

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(860): View more from Connecticut

You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep

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(219): View more from Indiana

I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.

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(216): View more from Ohio

I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.

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(817): View more from Texas

When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.

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