I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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