I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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