But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
