Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
