her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
