Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
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