you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize