remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
