just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
