Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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