so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
