so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
