i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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