Don't you send me to vm
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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