Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
