Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
