Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
