Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
