when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
