well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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