Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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