I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize