I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize