dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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