just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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