Well douche your snatch and let's go!
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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