We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
