What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
