thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
