You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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